We behave worse for the people we love the most. That is
a sad fact but true. Your teenager tries to be nice all day to people and
teachers that they do not like and then come home and blow up at you. And
thank goodness there is a place where we can let it out. If they can’t let it
out at home or with others, then they load up a gun and go to school. We are
the release valve for the pressure cooker. So bear with it when they are ill
tempered. Our ability to keep calm in a heated confrontation gets better
every 10 years. Have you ever seen a 20 year old at your work get all upset
about something and you are saying “Chill and lets see how to work this
out.”? That is why we elect the president of the United States a 50 yr old
gomer that does not get ticked off some day and push the button. So 20 yr
olds can’t stay calm and for sure teens and 6 year olds can’t.
Actually we adults do the same. You would not talk to
your friends or co-workers the way you do your spouse. If you did they would
not talk to you again. So we let it out at home on our spouse and hopefully
not our children. And that causes some divorces. “My wife is such a gripe
and that lady at work is so nice.” So we divorce one and marry the other and
guess what… same thing. We behave worse for the ones we love the most. It is
because we have to let out the frustrations somewhere and our family will
tolerate it. They love us, understand us, and are stuck with us…. kind of.
Notice how you treat other children better than you do your own…. how you
treat other women/men better than your wife/husband? So your kids get upset
and yell because they are trying to learn to be calm in a heated discussion.
We shouldn’t yell back at them because we are not setting a good example and
are lowering ourselves to their level.
Lets all try to be nicer to our family members and treat
our kids and spouses more like we do our friends and co-workers. Try to
discipline your children like you would correct a co-worker. Use a firm and
“I-mean-it” tone but not hateful tone. If your boss is hateful to you, you
would actually slow down or make more mistakes just to get back at him. That
is why when you really ball out your kids harshly they sometimes get worse.
Hang in there! …. All this parenting will yield a
wonderful child in 20 years and yes it is worth it.