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Lying about your past

Should you lye about the things you did in your past of which  you are ashamed and do not what them to know about.  For example if you used drugs, smoked, sexual experiences, and the like.

Some people recommend not lying and telling them the truth.  I do not recommend that.  Those things are in the past and they are not the person that you are today.  I think the parent needs to set a high ideal example and letting them know you did certain things makes it seem OK for them to do.  Why not.... YOU did it.   If they later find out about them, then tell them you lied to set a better goal for them.  That you would not want them to make the same mistake.  And besides it is none of their business what you did.  Your children do not tell you all the bad things that they have done in their lives so far.... like cheating in school, etc.   

An alternative plan is to not tell them anything.  That if they ask you if you used drugs, etc. then you reply it is none of their business and your private information. The only problem is that it increases their desire to find out and they could start asking relatives about it.  And it seems as though you are hiding something.

Plus if your teens ask if you two parents engage in certain sexual practices, the answer is "private and none of your business."  

You decide what you want to say to your children ahead of time and both parents agree what the approach you will use ahead of time.

Dr. Knapp